Free writing on 3 songs for 15 minutes.
The 3 songs that came to mind when I read today’s assignment were the same three I tend to listen to over and over on long car trips. Brother’s Comatose – Morning Time, Gregory Alan Isakov – The Stable Song and Young in all the Wrong Ways by Sara Watkins.
All 3 of these songs elicit the same feelings for me. They are either a melancholy feeling or a feeling love. I am and lucky to be loved. I feel very happy in my relationships. With my friends, family, and my boyfriend. These songs make me feel something deep. I think it is the same feeling people write books out of. The same feeling romantic movies try to draw from people. Its somewhat embarrassing to admit. Its a deep low feeling that rumbles behind your eyes the first time you see your baby. When you see so many kittens you can’t possibly pet them all at the same time. When your smart-ass boyfriend is actually sincere for once, or when you 12 year old actually comes to you for a hug. A feeling of real love, longing, and need.
The word need has such an awful stigma when it comes to relationships. To say the word “need” means you are needy. There is a difference between human needs and being needy. Even Lazlo agrees that people need love and belonging. We don’t need to smother those us around us and make impossible demands on them. But it is ok to listen to a song and think about them and hope if they hear the song they are thinking about yourself.
I get angry when I think about reckless needy people draining the people around them. I worry often that I am one of those people. The question I have to ask is… am I giving it back? Another question is, is it ok to expect this? Is it ok to expect to feel loved by your family, friends, and partners? The answer is of course yes. Logically yes. We all have the right to expect the people who say they care about us to actually care about us. But there is something inside me that feels guilty for needing it. A feeling of putting someone out. How much is too much? A tussle of the hair can be love. A pat on the back? What about a hug? All of this can be love and can help meet someones needs.
When I hear these songs I become introspective and feel true deep feelings. These songs can provoke joy or sadness. They can bring what ever is below the surface to the top, giving yourself permission to be loved and to love in return.