A guest post by Faheem Jackson of Judicious Logic
Why Men Need Time Away With Friends Of His Own They Are Them, We Are Us
For men and women in society, we have not only physically evolved, but mentally evolved into what we are today. We have certain skills sets that set us apart from each other. A couple of which are the physical qualities and the emotional qualities. And for those reasons we must observe how we interact with each other according to what we are as beings, then aim at coming up with a social means of communication. Which is basically saying, first, understand that we are mammals, who look at each other a certain way (could be how we view each other mentally and sexually). Then after that, how do we construct a livable society because then again, we are mammals with a lot of emotions. And when there is pure emotion and no rational thinking, people become problematic.
OUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
Now when observing how we function in relationships, humans are biologically quite mundane as creatures. It’s the reason why we have to generate so much interest just to keep the other person’s attention. Because to be fully functional in a civilization, and to be interesting all the time is far too much work. It’s the reason why bad boys are so appealing because they deviate from the rest. It’s just that their extra personality typically leans in a more long term destructive way in the relationship. So overall, we are uninteresting creatures, constantly trying to make ourselves interesting to the opposite and same sex. But for the topic at hand, we’re going to discuss men and women’s relationships.
DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW WHAT AGAIN
One main reason I am hesitant in getting married is that people have this notion that everything must be spent with the other person. We must agree on everything, and you have to always be there. Meaning, if we are talking about being together forever, is it really necessary for me to be around 7 days per week, 52 weeks in a year forever or the relationship ends? No, that is a form of control because without that control the one seeking to control feels they lose purpose. That’s why you both need your own friends. Women need her girl time and men need to hang with the fellas. Why, well from a guy’s perspective, here is why he needs guy time outside of you.
1) From what I have noticed, making marriage work is not admitting when you’re wrong
and never going to sleep angry. That generic speech is getting old at this point. Keeping it
together is knowing that when you see your significant other enjoying themselves outside of you, it makes you remember how interesting they are; sometimes you forget and take the relationship for granted.
2) You don’t want him always wanting to be underneath you. What made you interesting
usually in the beginning of a relationship is the idea that you as the woman wasn’t his
everything. Because if you are, the moment you want to enjoy yourself, he’ll want to
hang with you and your friends; a major turnoff.
3) Hopefully he makes friends with other married men who can talk him through marital
situations. Sounds odd because you should talk to your spouse about issues in the
marriage. But sometimes as men, we hear each other with an objective ear better than you as our women. And if those married men have good marriages, he might bring back
whatever he learned into the household. Why, well men like to compete, and no way can
we allow other men to out man us. His marriage is going to work, so is mind because I’m
just as good as him.
4) You’ll sometimes be forced to go look for him, especially if he is having a good time. It
will make the person more attractive because that chase that was initially there in the
beginning still exist. Not being easily accessible can be a turn on to both parties; shows
you’re productive (for the most part).
5) If you guys have kids, they are looking at you two as an example of the relationship they will have one day. They’re watching, and not only from the end of what dad is doing. But how mom interacts with dad. Especially if you have a son; he is making his decisions on what women to date or not from mom and dad’s relationship!
I am a native of Wisconsin, now based in New York City. I came to NYC for my MBA at NYIT, and while pursuing got into writing as a hobby. Now I am pursuing it as a career interest since the age 25/26 years old. My writing does not just include my blog, but my two books(The Boy Who Could Talk To God, Faheem Jackson Short Story Collection Vol.1) on paperback and kindle on Amazon, my screenplays, my first short film (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3htTedb24&t=6s) and uploading my second soon, plus this year I am getting into photography/videography.